So there’s nothing all that interesting about these pictures of Mila Kunis pumping gas, that is unless you find hot chicks filling up their cars erotic like I do. Yes, it’s a little perverse but at least the nozzle is being inserted into the proper orifice. Because if it wasn’t that would bring these photos to a whole new level. Oh god! I think it’s time to end the post here.

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Photos: INFdaily.com

Steven Tyler went to rehab to battle… foot pain. (Websters)

Marc Jacobs continues to humiliate Victoria Beckham without her knowing it. (Rad Report)

America’s Next Top model attempts suicide! (Wizbang Pop)

Lindsay Lohan makes a two-hour visit to the ER with Samantha Ronson. (Seriously? OMG)

Amanda Peet likes doin’ the nasty in a bath tub. (CelebNewsWire)

Nobody watched Lindsay Lohan on “Ugly Betty.” (jossip)

Britney Spears boobs still look like deflated tires. (CelebWarship)

Charlie Sheen is going to marry his knocked-up fiancee tonight. (Celebitchy)

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Reports are coming out of France that Angelina Jolie has already given birth to the twins. OK! Magazine reports

Entertainment Tonight claims to have confirmed reports of the birth of the Jolie-Pitt twins with a source close to the quickly expanding family. According to the rumors, the Oscar-winner gave birth on Sunday in a Catholic clinic in the Aix-En-Provence region of France.

Of course, these rumors are coming out of France, and France has been known to be wrong before. Like when they started Viet Nam War and invented pantalettes, for example.

Pregnant Angie in Cannes earlier this month:

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These teen skank whore-bags were interviewed by a local news crew about their apparent robbery of a 9 year old’s girl scout cookie money. I would like to wish them an lifetime of STD’s, bladder infections and constipation. And top it all off with a slow and painful death.

Viewers were outraged by a scene in the premiere episode of E!’s “Living Lohan” that showed mother Dina watching a sex tape of a Lindsay look-alike in front of her 14-year old daughter Ali, going as far as to suggest Dina was guilty of child abuse. The NY Post says

“Last time I checked, allowing a child to watch porn is against the law,” one viewer commented. Another asked, “Does anyone besides me think it’s weird that Dina showed her daughter [such images]?”

The former Justice Department chief of the child exploitation and obscenity section said, “It’s inappropriate but probably not illegal. If there was a situation where a mother was regularly exposing her child to pornography, it would be a concern for state child welfare agencies.”

I don’t see what’s so weird about it. So a daughter walks in on her mom watching a tape of her sister give some dude a blowjob. Who hasn’t had that happen once or twice in their lives? Where it really gets awkward is when you walk in on your mom and dad making their own porno. Especially once you realize your mom is not only taking it from dad but from Mr. Dinkleberg next door and they’re using your canopy bed for the wide-angle shot. And no matter what they try to tell you, that is NOT the way you’re supposed to play “Monkey in the Middle.” Try that during fourth grade recess and see how far you get.

Fast forward to the 3:15 mark if you can’t stomach watching all of it.

Lindsay with Ali in New York on Tuesday:

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Cool little optical illusion based one man show. I'm sure this is a lot harder than it looks. (watch video here)

Hold on to your buttless chaps, boys and girls — Clay Aiken is going to be a daddy. TMZ says

Multiple sources tell us the mother is Jaymes Foster, a record producer and Clay’s best friend [with whom he lives] when he’s in L.A. 50-year-old Foster, who produced several Aiken CDs, is due in August. Foster was artificially inseminated, but Clay is a lot more than just sperm — we’re told he will have an active role in raising the child.

I never thought I’d see the day when Clay Aiken fathered a child with an actual woman. You know, the whole “penis and vagina” thing. But give the guy a little gay porn and a mason jar, and nature finds a way!

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R & B singer R. Kelly’s case took a turn for the worse yesterday when his own mole defense was used against him. Kelly’s attorney had argued that since the man in the sex video did not have a mole on his back, that man could not be Kelly. Brilliant defense, except the man in the video did have a mole. D’oh! According to the The Daily Mail

Video forensics expert Grant Fredericks froze several frames of the sex tape where a dark spot was visible on the man’s back. For comparison, Fredericks showed the jury a still photo taken of Kelly’s back after his arrest in 2002, revealing a dark fingernail sized mole. “There is a mark on the man’s back in the exact same position,” Fredericks said, referring to the tape.

Kelly and his attorneys looked grim and dejected during the expert’s testimony, while prosecutors looked pleased, appearing to smile as they sat at their courtroom table.

One Memorex VHS tape — $5.39. Two bottles of Schlitz for a full bladder when urinating on a thirteen-year old girl — $10.50. Attorney’s fees for statutory rape defense — in excess of $100,000. Your primary defense argument back-firing and proving the prosecution’s case — priceless. There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s maximum security prison.

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