Here’s Paris Hilton posing topless in the latest 944 Magazine. I know we all hate her, but let’s pretend this is the first time we’ve ever seen her. I know it’s hard to do but in order to enjoy these pictures of a half-naked skinny blond chick, it’s the only way. Try it, it almost works.

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For all you out there that say Jessica Simpson isn’t pretty, here she is arriving at JFK airport with no makeup on and proving you wrong. The girl is absolutely gorgeous! The only complaint I have is that she hasn’t been dressing appropriately lately. It’s as if every time Jessica gets a new boyfriend she covers herself up, and when she’s single she goes out looking like this! So let’s hope she kicks this choke artist quarterback boyfriend to the curb soon, because Hollywood Tuna can’t survive without her and her Texan oil wells.

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Photos: INFdaily.com

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Here’s my new favorite hottie Cheryl Tweedy spoiling what could have been my first opportunity to check out her boobs by wearing a bra under her t-shirt. Usually I get mad when a celebrity ruins a see-through moment, but since Cheryl is absolutely the most stunning thing I’ve laid eyes on in the last 24 hours, I’ll forgive her this one time. But if she thinks she can head out and pull a stunt like this again, she has something else coming to her. BTW, that’s just an empty threat, because in reality, I can’t do anything behind this computer except make a mess on myself.

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-Ellen Petri in sexy lingerie -Girls night out -Can’t get enough of Lindsay Lohan side boob? -Miranda Kerr is super cute and super hot!

-Move-over Rihanna, Cassie is in town! -Lucy Clarkson topless pics -Great Tony Soprano imitation -Hot thong action

More Tuna: Natalie Portman Pictures Zooey Deschanel Says “Yes” To Jim Carrey Lucy Pinder Not Naked In Ralph Magazine?! Victoria Beckham And Her Super Nipples! Alyssa Milano Gets A ‘Touch’ Of Free Advertising Natasha Henstridge’s Breasts Are Explosive

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Jakki Degg Picture Moment Jakki Degg Pictures Jakki Degg Pictures Jakki Degg Pictures Shay Laren Pictures Celebrity Pictures

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Tyra Knows What It’s Like To Be Homeless (Dlisted) Kate Beckinsale Loves Her Coochie (Egotastic!)

Jessica Alba Was A 6th Grade Ho (IDLYITW) Angelina Is Going To Have Twins (Pink Is The New Blog)

Halle Berry Finally Making Scents (Just Jared) Katherine Heigl Is Smoking! (The Bastardly)

Ashlee And Pete Are Not Engaged! (Popsugar) Scarlett Johansson Is Jessica Biel’s Love Doctor (Hollywood Rag)

Tom Winehouse? (City Rag) AI’s Amanda Overmyer Drives Drunk, Sings Terribly (ASL)

Hogan Knows How To Creep Us Out Best (Mollygood) Loni Anderson Is A GILF! (The Grumpiest)

Gwen Stefani Is Hot In V (Popbytes) Izabel Goulart’s Smokin’ Hotness! (Celebslam)

Kate Beckinsale Won’t Appear In “Underworld” Prequel

Christina Ricci Pictures At MTV’s TRL

Tuna’s Back Catalogue Jewel’s Breasts Are Gone!? Marisa Miller Looks Forward To A Beating?!!! Victoria Beckham’s Funbags Does San Jose Rachel Stevens FHM Magazine Pictures

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Lindsay Lohan will get another chance to strip off and pose nude as Marilyn Monroe – if Hugh Hefner gets his way.Hefner wants the starlet to appear in Playboy recreating Monroe’s famous naked swim from her ‘Something’s Got to Give’ movie, according to U.S reports. Source

I’m all for Lindsay Lohan posing in Playboy. It would certainly be way better than these Paper Magazine photos, but now that she’s already appeared nude, I say screw recreating Marylin Monroe again – let’s move things forward and recreate some Jenna Jameson spread eagle action. And then a Lindsay Lohan sex tape. And then a Lindsay Lohan gangbang… Hey, that’s just the natural progression of becoming a bonafide porn star. I don’ make the rules, I just uphold them.

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Well, yesterday Rihanna’s bad vocal skills were exposed while doing a very poor cover of Mariah Carey’s Hero at some high school talent show thingy, and today we got some new photos from her concert in Dublin. It’s a good thing pictures don’t have sound because our ears would be in danger. Anyway, even though Rihanna is in tight latex, I’ve lost my appreciation for her. Not because of her bad singing, but because this new hairdo makes her look like a dude.

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Here’s Lindsay Lohan rockin’ some Daisy Dukes yesterday while going to an AA meeting and then dinner. I’m a big fan of short shorts, but Lindsay is going to have to work on those a legs a bit if she wants to compete with Jessica Simpson, the reigning Queen of the Daisy Dukes. But don’t worry Lindsay, right now you’re the Queen Of T$t. That is, until Jessica Simpson goes topless, and then who knows?

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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, SplashNewsOnline

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Tila Tequila is no dummy. What’s a girl with dreams of being a singer but no musical talent to do? Make a song that will be played over and over again in every strip club across North America for the next ten years. Here’s her brand new video Stripper Friends and it’s pretty hot. Check it out!

Tequila’s Stripper Friends Video

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